4 reasons to book an engagement session

“We had an engagement session with Justin 13 years ago and it was the best shoot we ever did- we had so much fun! They are our favorite pictures to date. Especially after getting married and becoming parents, and not having time for take pictures together during this season, it’s so great to have pictures of just us together and in love”. 

I think I’ll end the blog right here, actually. 

Kidding! But I did think that review from Elizabeth really gets to the heart of this topic: “Why do I need an engagement session with my wedding photographer?” DeMutiis Photography couples are people who really value photography, so about 75% of our clients book an engagement session with us from the start! But whether you’re our client or you just happened to stumble upon this blog- today I’m talking to that bride who is on the fence….

 And girl… I feel you in your doubt! Maybe your fiancé doesn’t like pictures, or you don’t want the extra expense, or maybe you already had one because your fiancé hired a photographer when he proposed! And if any of those reasons eventually wins out and you decide not to have an engagement session in your wedding package, I won’t blame you- but before you finalize that decision, you owe it to yourself to be fully informed! After you read this blog, I promise you’ll have all the best reasons in hand to book an engagement session with your wedding photographer so that you can truly make an informed decision as you’re finalizing your wedding collection. 

1) It’s a lot of fun

Though I’m about to give you four more reasons, if nothing else- book an engagement session because it’s FUN! While wedding planning, there’s a lot coming your way- constantly. Venues to select, vendors to choose, and hundreds of other choices to make. I remember well when Justin and I were engaged, sometimes weeks went by without having time for a date night or any fun beyond work and wedding planning. Our engagement pictures were a welcome break from the countless invitation choices and first dance song selections, and it truly felt like a date night. In fact, this is the most common response we hear from our couples after every. single. session. : “Wow! That was WAY more fun than I thought- it was really nice getting to just kiss, hug, cozy up, and spend time together.” 

2) You can get comfortable behind the camera and figure out what you like

Because lets face it- unless you’re an IG influencer, you’re probably not looking at yourself on camera every day. The first few minutes getting behind the camera can feel a little nerve wracking (although I promise we help to take that away quickly) so why not give yourself a chance to be comfortable with it prior to your wedding day? Not only that, but you can figure out what you like in terms of photos of yourself. Before a wedding day, Justin and I always go through the engagement session galleries of our couples to see which images they favorited, and we make ourselves a note to do a similar pose on the wedding day. 

3) You’re capturing a special season

How do you feel when you look back on photos of yourself as a kid or from high school? My guess is, you feel pretty nostalgic. To this same point, when it comes to ALL photos, we’ve found that they increase in value so much more over time. Someday, maybe 10, 20, or even 50 years from now, I can promise you 100% that you won’t remember the time, expense, or stress of choosing the perfect outfit for your engagement session. You WILL remember that special season when you were young and in love, and cherish these images of a once in a lifetime season. The special year or so that you’re engaged is a time that I guarantee you won’t ever want to forget. 

4) You can get to know your photographer better

One of the biggest factors in getting comfortable behind the camera, is getting comfortable with the PERSON behind the camera. The engagement session is 2 hours of hanging out at a beautiful location taking some epic images with Justin. There’s lots of time to chat as you move through the session, and by the end, everyone feels like they’ve made new friends. When it gets to the wedding day, you already know the guy behind the camera and that comfort most definitely translates in the final images! 

So my friend, if after reading these four reasons you still aren’t feeling it when it comes to an engagement session, go with your gut! BUT, if Ive changed you mind (and I hope I have!), be sure to contact us, or read another one of our favorite blogs: “Three engagement session tips”. 

You're engaged! 3 next steps to prevent overwhelm

“When is the date?” “Where is the venue?” “Who are your vendors?” “What does your dress look like?”  Ah, I can almost hear them now- the millions of questions that get thrown your way the moment you have some new bling on that ring finger! 

When Justin and I got engaged, I remember feeling really overwhelmed with all of the choices to make and decisions to think over… and it didn’t help to get asked about it immediately upon our engagement (Like, same day!). I don’t know about you, but when I’m overwhelmed, I just want to close the book on the task at hand because I’m not sure where to start! If this is you- you’ve come to the right place. I promise after reading this blog with tips on the three first things to do post-engagement, you’ll walk away EXCITED to start wedding planning- not feeling overwhelmed!  

Though I know quite a bit about weddings myself, I couldn’t think of anyone who could give better advice than the ever-important wedding planner, so I asked three of my favorites to share their tips- keep on readin’!

1) Pick a date

According to Nicole from NK productions, “ After you get engaged, one of the big steps is choosing a date for your wedding (and picking a backup, too!) The date you choose can hold special significance to you and your fiancé, or you may want to consider the weather, especially in Florida. 2021 and 2022 are gearing up to be especially busy years, so confirming your date/venue is going to be key! Having a planner from the beginning will help you with the dates and venues pros and cons so you are able to make an educated decision from the start.”

2) Choose some general ideas like location

On that same note Ashley from Love Lee Lane tells us: “Have a conversation right away with your partner about ideal time of year, possible date, and general location you would like to have your wedding.  The details can always change as you encounter the planning process, but it is a great staring point to have decided some of the basics together. 

Hiring a wedding planner shortly after engagement can give a couple valuable insight to venue locations, vendor suggestions, and general overall knowledge about where to begin in the planning process. “

I can’t tell you how true this is- once you have a general season and location in mind, the planner should be next on your list- they’re worth their weight in gold! 

3) Set a budget

The third tip, and one of equal importance is told to us by Lindsay Jimison from Burlap to Lace: “The biggest most important first step to do for your wedding planning after you say “yes”  is deciding on a price range! I can’t tell you how many brides call me and have no idea of a budget for their big day. You can’t buy a car without a price range and you certainly can’t plan a wedding without one either. When working on your budget, take a look at websites like Zola or Wedding Wire for budget planners. Also make sure to have an idea of guest count along with your budget since they affect each other. Happy planning!”

There you have it- pick a general season and location, then pick a date, set your price range, and finally (and most importantly, in our opinion) hire a planner!!! You’ll thank yourself later and actually enjoy your engagement, rather than starting it off feeling overwhelmed!

For more planning inspiration and ideas and advice, give us a follow on instagram (@justindemutiis) or keep perusing the blog- a personal fave of mine for the wedding planning groom can be found here.

Goal setting with your spouse

I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret that has set us up to be successful in our communication with each other since day one: GOAL SETTING IN MARRIAGE.

Some of you are reading what I just said and thinking- "What in the world? I have enough on my plate just trying to set my personal goals, why would I want to add a totally different list specific to my marriage?”. Or maybe you are thinking “I don’t even set goals for myself! That sounds so overwhelming!” But I’m here to tell you WHY I wholeheartedly believe in sitting down with your spouse to make goals, HOW I believe it can change your communication, your marriage, and your life this year, and WHAT you need to do to get started!

A few years ago, we decided to purchase the goal setting guide for couples from our friends at Cultivate What Matters. Lara Casey says this best, so I am going to quote her directly here! :

“Why set goals as a couple? Three of the biggest complaints couples have about their relationships are poor communication, not being understood, and not feeling like they’re on the same page. That’s where good goal setting comes in! Setting goals together will help you work as  team, improve communication by expressing your dreams and challenges, provide accountability, and deliver a great sense of unity and connectedness when you make progress together. Good goals can change everything”. 

BOOM- Lara Casey for the win! This statement embodies exactly how we feel about goal setting in our marriage- and we encourage you to give it a go! Below, I’m going to share some of the basic framework we use in our goal setting, and tell you real-life examples from our own marriage. 

1) Celebrate

Each year for our marriage goal setting, we know a little getaway is just what we need to feel refreshed and inspired while planning our year. For us, goal setting is done ideally over three days (but one of those days is definitely dedicated to our business, so many couples may be able to do two days!). While you can totally set aside time to set goals at home, we personally feel too distracted (especially because we work from home all week, too!) We’ve gone as far as snowy vermont, and also done little staycations in Mount Dora and Anna Maria! No matter where it is, we invest in a sweet little room or air bnb’s with views, grab some wine on night one, and celebrate! We believe the goal setting process should ALWAYS begin with celebrating where you’ve been and what you’ve accomplished. I repeat- step one should ALWAYS BE to celebrate!!! As human beings we are so quick to think of the bad things that have happened- so this exercise will really help you cultivate gratitude (you already know we’re big on this if you read our blog about tips we use to be grateful every day!), and celebrate all the past year has brought to you as opposed to thinking “Oh- it’s new years and I have a LOT of improving to do…”. Starting out any exercise feeling overwhelmed with changes you want or need isn’t going to lead you in the right direction.

Some things we do while celebrating:

1. Read the blessings out loud from our blessings jar we keep all year

2. Make a list of “what worked” in the past twelve months and talk about it

3. Put in place a “no negativity” rule. No piggybacking off anything we talk about with improvements needed or complaints.

2) Ask important questions

After our night of celebration, we wake up early to dig into the goals right away. For us, we have to start with coffee and some prayers :) So I encourage you to do whatever it is in the morning that helps you feel pumped and ready before you dive in!

We always begin marriage goal setting by sharing our personal goals first. This way we can use those as a guide to keep us focused on what matters to us both individually, and then we move onto the big questions for marriage. When I say big questions, I’m talking plans for big purchases, kids, travel plans, yearly budget… we get into it ALL on goal setting! Don’t be afraid to bring up those big, sometimes uncomfortable questions and dreams. The discomfort is really where the magic happens and you can dig deeper with your spouse. Some of the most important questions we ask ourselves-

1. Do we feel like our marriage is still on an upward slope?

2. Where do we see ourselves one year from now? How about 5? 

3. How can we encourage one another in our personal goals for this year?

4. What habits do we want to develop as a couple this year? 

5. How do we feel about our current budget? Do we need to make changes?

These are just a starting point- but I encourage you to come up with questions that relate to your life specifically. We break it down into the following categories: Spiritual, Personal, Financial, Health, Family, Home life (this is where we talk about our marriage itself, plans for kids, and our actual house!)

3) Create baby steps

After we work through all the biggest questions, the final step is writing out baby steps we can take to accomplish each goal. An example of baby steps from one of our own goals two years ago looks like this:

Goal:

Keep our marriage a top priority in both of our lives all year long. 

Steps:

1. Going on a date every single Monday! From going on a long walk to a full day at the beach or a garden, we commit to doing something each and every week to focus on us as a couple. 

2. Putting phones on airplane mode between 10PM and 9AM. This time should be for us as a couple each and every day to talk, pray together, laugh… We don’t want anyone or anything competing for that time and attention!

3. Work through the “You and Me” app . (An app suggested by a friend that has you read a book and answer questions together that strengthen your relationship)

We created these steps for each and every goal, and it makes a big difference breaking things down into something manageable!

After all was said and done we finish the trip by doing something fun! From snowmobiling to beach sunset bike rides, we try to pick something to unwind. Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate.

We are so thankful for this goal setting retreat each year to work through celebrating where we’ve come from, sharing personal goals, asking each other the big questions for the next year, and breaking goals into baby steps. We hope this blog has given you some inspiration for goal setting in your own marriage to improve your communication all year round. We promise you won’t regret setting aside this time to fully commit to one another through the next year and beyond- The best is yet to come, you can do it!

Xo,

Justin and Ashley

P.S- if you need some tips for starting your personal goal setting, check out these three tips for setting goals. It’s never too late to begin!

The Key to Communication in your marriage: How to stay on the same page as your spouse all year long!

I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret that has set us up to be successful in our communication with each other since day one: GOAL SETTING IN MARRIAGE.

Some of you are reading what I just said and thinking- "What in the world? I have enough on my plate just trying to set my personal goals, why would I want to add a totally different list specific to my marriage?”. Maybe having a better marriage or having more dates nights is already on your personal goals list, so you feel like you don’t need to make other goals together. I’m here to tell you WHY I wholeheartedly believe in sitting down with your spouse to make goals, HOW I believe it can change your communication, your marriage, and your life this year, and WHAT you need to do to get started!

Last year, we decided to purchase the goal setting guide for couples from our friends at Cultivate What Matters. Lara Casey says this best, so I am going to quote her directly here! :

“Why set goals as a couple? Three of the biggest complaints couples have about their relationships are poor communication, not being understood, and not feeling like they’re on the same page. That’s where good goal setting comes in! Setting goals together will help you work as  team, improve communication by expressing your dreams and challenges, provide accountability, and deliver a great sense of unity and connectedness when you make progress together. Good goals can change everything”.

BOOM- Lara Casey for the win! This statement embodies exactly how we feel about goal setting in our marriage- and we encourage you to give it a go! Below, I’m going to share some of the basic framework we use in our goal setting, and tell you real-life examples from our own marriage. 

1) Celebrate

This year for our marriage goal setting, we decided a little getaway was just what we needed to feel refreshed and inspired while planning our year. What better place to escape the Florida heat than snowy Vermont?! On a whim we decided to use up some of those credit card points we’d been hoarding to book the cutest little boutique hotel called the Taconic in the heart of Manchester, Vermont. We got a sweet little room with mountain views and a fireplace, grabbed some wine on night one, and celebrated! We believe the goal setting process should ALWAYS begin with celebrating where you’ve been and what you’ve accomplished. I repeat- step one should ALWAYS BE to celebrate!!! As human beings we are so quick to think of the bad things that have happened- so this exercise will really help you cultivate gratitude (you already know we’re big on this if you read our blog about tips we use to be grateful every day!), and celebrate all the past year has brought to you as opposed to thinking “Oh- it’s new years and I have a LOT of improving to do…”. Starting out any exercise feeling overwhelmed with changes you want or need isn’t going to lead you in the right direction.

2) Ask important questions

After our night of celebration, we woke up early the next day and decided to dig into the goals right away. For us, we have to start with coffee and some prayers :) So I encourage you to do whatever it is in the morning that helps you feel pumped and ready before you dive in!

We always begin marriage goal setting by sharing our personal goals first. This way we can use those as a guide to keep us focused on what matters to us both individually, and then we move onto the big questions for marriage. When I say big questions, I’m talking plans for buying a home, kids, travel plans, yearly budget… we get into it ALL on goal setting! Don’t be afraid to bring up those big, sometimes uncomfortable questions and dreams. The discomfort is really where the magic happens and you can dig deeper with your spouse. Some of the most important questions we asked ourselves-

1. What can we do to make our marriage a top priority in both of our lives?

2. Where do we see ourselves one year from now? How about 10? 20? Write out dreams and hopes.

3. How can we encourage one another in our personal goals for 2019?

4. How can we pray for one another this year?

These are just a few of the most important questions, and we encourage you to come up with questions that are specific to your own lives and marriages to add here. If you need more suggestions or would like to see our full list, feel free to email us directly and we are happy to share!

3) Create baby steps

After we work through all the biggest questions, the final steps are creating a vision for our marriage (an actual vision sentence.. like a big corporation ha!) and then writing out baby steps we can take to accomplish each goal.An example of baby steps from one of our own personal goals looks like this:

Goal:

Keep our marriage a top priority in both of our lives all year long.

Steps:

1. Going on a date every single Monday! From going on a long walk to a full day at the beach or a garden, we commit to doing something each and every week to focus on us as a couple.

2. Putting phones on airplane mode between 10PM and 9AM. This time should be for us as a couple each and every day to talk, pray together, laugh… We don’t want anyone or anything competing for that time and attention!

3. Work through the “You and Me” app . (An app suggested by a friend that has you read a book and answer questions together that strengthen your relationship)

We created these steps for each and every goal, and it makes a big difference breaking things down into something manageable!

After discussing all the big questions for hours- we decided our marriage vision is: “To be pleasing to God, to be happy and joyful with one another, to be inspiring and encouraging to other couples.” These few little words sum up all the most important things to us this year- And we have some exciting steps and plans to bring our vision to life, particularly for the couples who give us the honor of photographing their weddings!

After all was said and done we celebrated our progress by going on a snowmobiling journey and having a Thai dinner! Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate.

We are so happy we decided to take a trip to Vermont this year and worked through the steps of celebrating our 2018, sharing personal goals, asking each other the big questions for 2019, breaking goals into baby steps, creating a vision, and celebrating AGAIN!

We hope this blog has given you some inspiration for goal setting in your own marriage to improve your communication all year round. We promise you won’t regret setting aside this time to fully commit to one another through 2019 and beyond- The best is yet to come, you can do it!

Xo,

Justin and Ashley

P.S- if you need some tips for starting your personal goal setting, check out these three tips for setting goals. It’s never too late to begin!